Copywrite Peter G. Barnett
Aka Peter L. Barnes – Oct 2021
A tongue twisting story of ‘D’s based on the Locksbridge tea room in Newton Abbot
“Quick, it’s going to rain. We may just reach the tea room.”
The drench of bedraggled dragons, ran along the path towards their favourite tea room by the canal, but they were too late to avoid the deluge of cold water dropping from the dark sky.
“We don’t normally serve dragons, as we don’t have much space,” said the waitress. “But seeing as there is a dearth of customers, we can make a dedicated space for you.”
Dierdre went to area by the dogwood and disinfected the table and chairs.
The dragons dropped onto the designated seats and once settled, perused the damp menus trying to decide which delights they desired.
The darling waitress with the name tag ‘Dierdre’, had her pencil ready to take their orders, whilst doodling on her pad. “What delectable delicacies would you like today?”
“Decaf and Danish,” said Drazzle.
“Dundee cake and a cold drink,” said Nogard.
“Delicious doughnut, with damson jam,” said Dorino.
“I’m dreadfully sorry, we’re all out of doughnuts,” said Dierdre. “The horrible dragon that wears dark drapes, has eaten them.”
“That dastardly dragon, Dragel, has devoured all the delicious doughnuts,” drawled Drazzle.
“Yes, despicable, isn’t he?” said Dierdre.
“Yes. I suppose I’ll have to make do with your decadent drizzle cake,” said Dorino.
“I’ll get your ‘petit déjeuner’, shan’t be long.”
“Something has to be done,” said a disappointed Dorino. “This has dragged out far too long.”
Their order arrived and just to show that dragons could act with decorum and dignity, they slowly devoured their drinks and cakes, daintily dabbing their lips before any dangling drool, dropped to the deck.
“We have to dedicate the next few days, devising a devilish plan to bring about Dragel’s downfall,” said Drazzle.
They debated long and hard without any discernible plans, until some dappled sunlight shone through like a new dawn, and the clouds drifted away, dancing into the distance.
“Time to depart,” stated Drazzle.
“How are you going to pay today,” asked Diedre. “We have no customers so we don’t need your draughty flames to heat our deer-stalker pies.”
“No problem,” said Dorino. “I defied a diabolical rogue and saved a damsel in distress and her dad gave me lots of dosh as a reward, so I’ve got plenty of dollars to pay.”
They left the Locks Bridge Tea Garden and plodded down the dirt track, drying off in a cloud of damp mist.
“I’ve an idea,” said Drazzle. “We have to dangle the proverbial carrot, or in this case doughnut, in front of his distinctive face,” and explained his thoughts to the others.
“Great,” said Dorino. “I know the local baker. I’ll go and talk to him. I often help him out with his dangerous and defunct ovens, so he owes me a favour.”
“I know the damson jam maker,” said Nogard. “I deliver his fruit, saves him a fortune.”
And thus it was, that the deception was endorsed by the three dragons and each trundled off to do their deeds.
A few weeks later the dragon trio arrived back at the designated tea shop to determine if their draconian plans had devolved into an adequate result.
“Hello Diedre,” said Drazzle, “How’s your day?”
“Just dandy,” she replied. “No sign of Dragel at all, so the delicious doughnuts are available again. What did you do to him?”
“It’s a long story so I won’t bore you with all the dreary details.”
“Well, we used his demanding desire against him.”
“I persuaded the damson jam manufacturer to ‘doctor’ a batch, if too much was consumed in one day,” said Nogard.
“I persuaded the baker to give him the job of filling the doughnuts,” said Dorino.
“I made sure he knew there was no drawback in him devouring one or two,” said Drazzle
“Do you want to watch the drama unfold?” said Dorino, switching on his DVD.
The screen went dark, before clearing to display a dragon standing at dunking station, grabbing a doughnut in each paw, stabbing them onto the trigger which drove damson jam into the centres. He then dropped them into the tray. Then, with eyes darting around the factory, he demolished them in one jaw dropping gulp.
This went on for some time with more doughnuts devoured, than packed, until Dragel’s tummy gurgled and he let out a huge belch, which had the other workers rushing for their deodorant sprays.
“Sorry,” he shouted, but continued to devour more doughnuts.
“I admire his dedication to his diet,” said Diedre” But will he ever desist?”
“I doubt it,” said Drazzle, as Dragel stuffed more into his dark maw. “Look at him.”
Dragel downed another dozen before a more desperate urge overcame his greed and he rushed for the door.
“What did you put into the damson Jam?” asked Dierdre.
“A mild diuretic,” said Nogard. “I doubt he’ll ever devour a delicious doughnut again.”
“Talking of which…,” started Dorino.
“Doughnuts coming up,” said Diedre.
“Undoctored, we hope.”
And of course the alternative title is ‘D is for Dragons!’