{"id":422,"date":"2019-11-21T05:58:14","date_gmt":"2019-11-21T05:58:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/?p=422"},"modified":"2019-11-22T12:39:36","modified_gmt":"2019-11-22T12:39:36","slug":"the-smart-dragon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/?p=422","title":{"rendered":"The Smart Dragon Full story, written before the John Lewis advert"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul class=\"wpsocialite social-buttons large\"><li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/?p=422&amp;locale=en_US&amp;t=\" class=\"socialite facebook-like\" data-lang=\"en_US\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/?p=422\" data-send=\"false\" data-layout=\"box_count\" data-width=\"60\" data-show-faces=\"false\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span class=\"vhidden\">Share on Facebook.<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/share\" class=\"socialite twitter-share\" data-text=\"\" data-url=\"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/?p=422\" data-count=\"vertical\" data-lang=\"en_US\" data-via=\"@birdstoowit\" rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\"><span class=\"vhidden\">Share on Twitter.<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><p>The Smart Dragon<\/p>\n<p>Copywrite Peter L. Barnes<\/p>\n<p>A slightly Corny story, but then do Dragons get corns?<\/p>\n<p>Trying to keep up with her classmates.<\/p>\n<p>Thank goodness she had been allowed to join the class, although the teasing that she was a \u2018bit of a dragon\u2019 in on-line posts, was a bit hard to take. She wasn\u2019t a bit of a dragon; she was a full-blown dragon.<\/p>\n<p>The main reason that Georgiana had been accepted into the school in the first place was because she had been orphaned at an early age, too many Georges and \u2018Game of Thrones\u2019 fans having taken their toll.<\/p>\n<p>Seating arrangements had been a bit of a problem, but fortunately as a \u2018special needs child\u2019 they had been given a grant for a metal desk, instead of the usual wooden units. Typing wasn\u2019t a problem as she had her own computer and clawboard. The screen saver was just that, a steel shutter that dropped like a guillotine in front of the screen, if there was any hint of a fire.<\/p>\n<p>She used the Dragonet for all her homework, and Tinder to try and connect to other dragons. Who on earth thought that Tinder was a good name for lonely dragons? And anyway, swiping left and right across her smart phone had ruined many a screen, she was thinking of going to court to force manufactures to improve them. Surely, it was against her dragon rights to have to spend so much money on new phones.<\/p>\n<p>The school was having their annual Christmas play this year and the teacher, Mr Johnston, who acted as the producer, had tried to find a part for her, but this was proving very difficult despite Georgiana\u2019s obvious acting skills. Apparently, there wasn\u2019t a dragon in the bible and Mr Johnson really didn\u2019t think her donkey impression was going down well, something about straw being a fire hazard.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLife isn\u2019t fair,\u201d she said to Mr Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell I\u2019m sorry but I didn\u2019t write the story,\u201d he said. \u201cMaybe next year we\u2019ll do George and the drag\u2026 What??\u201d as Georgiana growled at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd there\u2019s no need to do dog impressions either, this is not a \u2018dog in the manger\u2019 story.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSorry but I\u2019m a bit frustrated at the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Georgiana was trying to concentrate on today\u2019s maths class, she never understood the decimal system, having only 8 claws that had made counting so difficult. The practical IT teacher had come up with a solution but she was still trying to come to terms with the extra digits he had made with his 3D printer. It had a tendency to click like an abacus, at the most inappropriate times, much to the annoyance of the rest of the class.<\/p>\n<p>As for school dinners, sticky toffee pudding and ice-cream were the most annoying, with the ice-cream melting and dripping out of the sides of her mouth, making her look like a drooling teenager. As for the pudding itself, her claws were definitely a mess for days afterwards.<\/p>\n<p>Trying to fit into their world, she went to talk to the Girl Guide Leader, Mrs Poole, to see if she could join up.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell,\u201d said Mrs. Poole. \u201cLet\u2019s see some of your skills, for instance can you tie some basic knots?\u201d Handing her two lengths of rope.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, let me try, but I might be all thumbs, or claws in my case.\u201d Georgiana fumbled with the rope but only succeeded them cutting them into smaller pieces.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh dear, what about turning two sticks into a fire.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Georgiana laid out a small pyramid of kindling, then shaved some wood into small slivers with her sharp claws, before rubbing two sticks together. \u201cOh look,\u201d said Georgiana, pointing to a flying bird, then surreptitiously breathing a tiny flame into the slivers and getting the fire going. A pleasant smell of burning pine drifted around the hall.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell done, that\u2019s lovely,\u201d said the Guide Leader. \u201cNow what about our gardening project?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat is that?<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe have a small allotment and need to grow some vegetables.\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cThat should be easy,\u201d said Georgiana, showing Mrs Poole her green claws.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh yes I see what you mean, they should be perfect,\u201d said Mrs Poole, not wanting to upset the dragon any further.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019ll need to sort out some sort of uniform for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell we can hardy sew your badges onto such a scaly skin.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou could tattoo them on of course,\u201d said Georgiana.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou have tattoos?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes look!\u201d she turned her shoulder.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh! A human!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell you lot have dragons, so I have humans.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The first weekend away with the girl guides was a great success especially after the heavy rainfall the previous weeks. No dry spot to pitch their tents for miles around, before Georgiana warmed up the grass and evaporated the water in a cloud of steam. Collected firewood defied all stick spinning attempts but with a little help, the campfire was now burning brightly under the huge cooking pot. All her group were awarded with \u2018training their dragon\u2019 badges.<\/p>\n<p>Georgiana settled into her new life, finally making some new friends amongst her classmates, although the sleepover was not a success. However, it did mean her friends\u2019 mothers finally bought flame proof nightgowns.<\/p>\n<p>Moving to university became more of a challenge although transport was never a problem. They found a quiet cave near the campus, where it was rumoured that Merlin had found refuge. Now it\u2019s a little-known fact that Dragons tails are normally quite empty as it helps their balance when flying. However, when going into battle, it is standard practise to fill their tails with their gold hoard or certainly part of it. This can then be used to swing around on their opponent and the weight of gold is usually enough to knock them over and even kill them.<\/p>\n<p>But a little know fact is that when their tail is cut off and stored in a deep cave, the flesh will decompose leaving all the gold and jewels to the new owner of the tail. Which is why people who cut the heads off the dragons lose all the accumulated riches. Silly humans. Georgiana had collected many tails over the years and now used them to fill her new cave, which is where the expression \u2018lying on a bed of tails\u2019 derives.<\/p>\n<p>Aeronautical engineering became a passion and she was soon designing comfortable and efficient passenger planes. Her own version of the internal combustion engine being far more efficient that the jet engines of old, and of course much more environmentally friendly.<\/p>\n<p>This of course turned her into a \u2018D\u2019 list celebrity, along with her success in writing human fantasy stories, so it was not surprising that she was invited to all the TV reality shows. She opted for \u2018Strictly come Prancing\u2019 where children were allowed to display their skills with their ponies. The producers finally had to ask her to resign from the show as her tail kept on knocking over the cameras.<\/p>\n<p>After all her hard work and set backs she decided it was time to settle down and it was Tinder that finally came up with her perfect match.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Smart Dragon Copywrite Peter L. Barnes A slightly Corny story, but then do Dragons get corns? Trying to keep up with her classmates. Thank goodness she had been allowed to join the class, although the teasing that she was a \u2018bit of a dragon\u2019 in on-line posts, was a bit hard to take. She [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=422"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":465,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/422\/revisions\/465"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=422"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=422"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.peterlbarnes.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=422"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}